Human Doormat For My Dirty Railing Boots

My leather railing boots got all dirty and muddy again - fine to have my own individual human doormat I can clean them on! I trample all over the losers naked chest and grope my dirty boot feet on his skin - and while my boots get more and more dirty - his skin gets more and more dirty - and hes in excellent ache - which is another plus for me for sure :-D Maybe I can also stand on his head and wipe some of the dirt off on it?! Or I could just stomp the dirt off on his body - hes just a human doormat after all and his well-being is no concern for me!